What Frodo Did Next.

Last night the call came to Bag End - it was time to set out on a long and dangerous journey; four brave hobbits would be needed to take the one ring to Mordor and chuck it in the volcano.

However we had to make do with two in the end as Merry and Pippin were apparently busy - IKEA in the latter's case. Perhaps Gandalf shouldn't have disguised the dire warning of evil dominions afoot as a 'game of Torres' - as that turned out to be spectacularly untrue.

Instead Andrew and I, still smarting from defeat to Sauron last week, took the little bastard on again. Andrew was Frodo and I was... Sam. If anyone hasn't played this, the game takes place over four boards, and during each one you have to negotiate your way nearer and nearer to Mordor, while the forces of darkness infiltrate the 'event' tiles and try and stop you. All the time Sauron is trying to drag the Hobbits toward the dark, and move himself to the light. Should the two moral opposites (represented by colourful Hobbit pieces and a one-eyed, kitten-esque Sauron) meet on the influence track, it's game over.

How this all works is through card-management, so it's kind of a fire-fighting game in the the vein of Year of the Dragon, except of course it's co-operative.

So how did we fare? Last week, we had managed to get ourselves to Mordor with nary a frayed nerve, but were left with a hollow feeling as a succession of event tiles at the start of the last board saw Sauron march to the final event, where he simply took the ring from us and laughed in our faces like a spoilt brat.

So this time, having taken a few hits stocking up on cards at Helm's Deep, we arrived at Sauron's house and decided the best bet was speed. We would expedite the destruction of the ring, post-haste! Ignoring the threat of Orcs, Gollum, and a sprained ankle, we hurried along the main track and within 5 minutes I was hurling the ring into Mount Doom. Hooray! Middle-Earth is saved.

Fuck you, Sauron.

But saved for what end? Just as with our previous defeat, the victory left us a little hollow. It's so abrupt; one moment you're trying to save the world, the next you're looking at the time and thinking should I have another beer, or would the sensible option be tea?

For me, this is LotR's downfall. During play it's quite fun, and the cooperative element feels novel - at least for our little group. Knizier manages to ramp up the pressure as the game progresses, but when it's over, it's - over. Like a shallow sexual experience for two people who don't really like each other, your relationship with the game feels not entirely worth the effort. It would be great if this final show-down had more oomph to it - it's own little board, perhaps, a game within a game, where suddenly there could be a competitive element between the Hobbits. Maybe I'll drop Reiner a line and suggest it.

So what did the hobbits do next? We played Trans-America, and Sam kicked Frodo's ass!